The sexual behavior of women and men in the marriage relationship probably has just as much variety as any other behaviors. Affected by deeply ingrained attitudes, themselves determined by cultural and idiosyncratic histories, sexual behavior also reflects the quality of the relationship, situational variables, and personal characteristics such as age, health, and equality. Biological, psychological, cultural, and historical determinants interact to produce similarities and differences, fascinating mosaics within which patterns can be discerned, some stronger and more pervasive than others.
Currently, both marriage and sexuality are the subjects of examination, commentary, and criticism by social scientists and those in a variety of other disciplines. Sexual permissiveness, along with other contemporary phenomena such as the availability of birth control and abortion, declining birth rates, and the increasing incidence of divorce, is seen by some as threatening the survival of marriage. At the same time the new permissiveness is seen to encourage marital happiness by disavowing old inhibitions and taboos and by stimulating new practices to banish boredom, expand experiment, and enhance consciousness.
Sexual behavior in marriage today can be observed, studied, and understood by the conventional methods of social science. But to fully appreciate its importance, its relation to its sociocultural context at any given time, and its sensitivity to sex roles and the power relationship of women and men, historical beliefs, attitudes, and practices must be studied.
The discussion will begin by reviewing sexuality and marriage historically, examining normative attitudes and values as they were formulated, promoted, and supported by religious and secular leaders.
During the first half of the twentieth century, sexual behavior first was studied seriously by investigators in such disciplines as anthropology, medicine, and psychology. For the first time, objective studies using interviews, questionnaires, and direct observation began to appear. These data required the conventional wisdom to be modified and sanctioned the emergence of more open attitudes toward and greater freedom in sex in and out of marriage.
Publication of such scholarly studies as those of Kinsey and later of Masters and Johnson, facilitated subsequent inquiry, and sex research became a respectable discipline. At the same time, other social movements, such as the counter-culture movement of the sixties and the women’s liberation movement, demanded freedom from authoritarian teachings about role and place. There was a serious examination of the old institution of marriage and its place in the new society. Sexual behavior in marriage, its norms and variety, emerged from the Victorian shadows as a topic fit for science and the public media.
Sexual activity outside of marriage always has been legally and morally proscribed in our society. Sexual activity outside of marriage always has had vastly different meanings for women and men, a double standard which persists today. Even so, the heterosexual monogamous pattern is being eroded by experiments in group marriage, communal living arrangements, and casual physical exchanges. The long-term effects of these as competitors with conventional sexual monogamy are not yet known.
The renaissance of the feminist movement of the past decade has had a significant impact on all the institutions of our society, including marriage. As the old power relationships in which man was dominant and woman submissive began to shift, so did the sexual relationships, and women began to express their needs and to make their demands in this most private encounter between the sexes. Reports of the effects of the new female consciousness on marital sexuality are just beginning to appear, and while so far unsystematic, they suggest a new pattern of expectations, especially for the educated young.
There is human diversity in this area of behavior as in all others. Variability is the rule, and what is normative in one culture is deviant in another. It is both healthful and humbling to realize, as Havelock Ellis pointed out long ago, that not everyone is like us.
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