YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/FINDING OUT WHO’S THE MATTER WITH US: COLD SEXUAL PROBLEMS – DIMINISHED SEXUAL INTEREST

I don’t think about sex unless it jumps up and bites me. I guess I don’t think of much unless it hits me over the head. I just go on leading my life.

HUSBAND

HOW can you really think about sex when you have a million problems in your life? You can only think so much, you can only have so much energy. I am drained just dealing with life.

WIFE

There has been a tendency in sex research to focus on behaviors, sometimes feelings, but seldom thoughts. How we think about sex influences our entire sexual system, and when we are running cold, we tend to lose sexual interest. One hundred fourteen men and 245 women reported problems with sexual interest, and the frequency of sexual-interest differences in marriages is probably much higher than these numbers indicate. Remember, these couples came to the clinic for help with the sexual dimension of their marriage. They had enough interest in sex to try to improve their sexual relationship.

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