‘SAFE’ SEX: CONDOM PROBLEMS
Condom use with many women of different ages and backgrounds, and the same sorts of problems are often mentioned. Many women feel uncomfortable asking a man to use a condom.
A lot of men are happy and willing to use condoms, and see their use as routine in sexual relationships. However, many men give reasons for not wanting to use them, saying that it feels different, or is less satisfying for him, and the old classic, ‘like showering in a raincoat’.
Individuals are constantly making choices based on what is happening to them at the time. Trying to make a decision about the potential risks of catching an STD while in the middle of a steamy, passionate embrace may not be the most sensible thing to do. It is not a good time to think rationally and clearly. A wiser course of action would be to consider that there may be a potential risk, and be prepared. No one likes the idea of breaking up a perfectly satisfactory cuddling session, jumping in the car, or on the bus, and going to the chemist to buy some condoms. It is a sensible precaution to have some available, in case they are ever needed. Having condoms available does not mean you must run out and find someone to have sex with before the use-by date is up. It does not indicate that you intend having sex, or commit you to doing anything you don’t want to do. It simply increases your safety if you do decide to have sex.
People do have a natural shyness about discussing or displaying things relating to sexuality, and that is understandable. However, buying condoms should not feel shameful or embarrassing, because it is a normal, natural, responsible act. It just takes a little getting used to. If it really bothers you, then you could ask someone else to do the actual purchasing for you. Condoms are for sale at supermarkets, pharmacies, convenience stores and vending machines in some pubs and night clubs and some tertiary school campuses. You may feel more comfortable about buying them from a family planning clinic.
Who should bring the condoms? This is up to the couple to decide, but it seems fair that the responsibility be shared, as you are both benefiting from using them. If a woman asks a man to use a condom, and he is not keen on the idea, the woman has a choice to refuse to have sex with that man. Anyone has the right to choose to have sex, or not, at any stage. No one should feel that because they have gone a certain way along the path to having sex that they are under any
obligation to carry on, if it is not what they want to do.
Sometimes pointing out that the condom provides protection for him as well is a good tactic. Until you are both thoroughly checked out there is no guarantee that either of you are free of STDs.
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Tags: Women’s Health